The Search for Silent - Chpt 1

The Search for Silent
Chapter One
Part 1

Sergeant Andrews watched as the recruits stepped from the bus. He had learned a number of expressions in the young people that gave him clues as to their personalities. No time was allowed to coddle the recruits, but they had to immediately prove that they were willing and able to be turned into instruments of war. It thus helped to identify those that would need immediate special attention.

Every alarm went off in Sergeant Andrews's head when one young man stepped off the bus. The direct manner in which he strode from the vehicle and planted himself next to the front right tire. The knowing movement of the neck as the eyes absorbed the surroundings. The glances at others causing them not to speak to him. The young man did nothing wrong, but marked himself as trouble.

The eyes of the experienced Army soldier and recruit met with neither acting ashamed of having been caught making the glance. The young man simply nodded, then began to walk towards the other. The recruit was not tall, in fact he was about average having a height of a couple of inches short of six feet. He did seem handsome, although the dark brown hair appeared to have been purposely messed up to present a more normal visage. Sergeant Andrews watched as the young man approached hoping to catch an instance of him having to check his charade, but with a calm assurance the young man came to a stop in front of Sergeant Andrews with the tips of his shoes directly at the edge of a white line painted on the cement.

The young man did not speak. He did not nod his head. He did not hold himself at attention, but neither was his stance that of being at ease. Sergeant Andrews had his eyes travel up and down the form of the young man as he waited for some indication of being present, but none came. There was a sense of an act having been started, but no cues for any lines to be spoken.

The other men and women that disembarked from the bus noticed the movement of the young man, and they followed. The sergeant spoke to some that approached in order to assure that they fell into the proper pattern that the young man seemed to have naturally understood as being present. None however spoke to him, and he did not move his mouth or any other part of his body except to breathe. Almost as if continuing to follow his lead, the group of recruits quickly became quiet.

Following his own training, Sergeant Andrews introduced himself and began the usual haranguing of the potential soldiers. While the eyes of the young man did follow the sergeant, no facial expression or sound was made in response to a statement. Needing at least a name to go with the young man, the experienced soldier decided to go ahead and call the roll.

The young man did look around when no one responded to the name of David Manner. A strange expression came to his face as he turned back to Sergeant Andrews. The soldier focused his eyes on the young man as a hand moved to a back pocket. The young man pulled out his wallet, took out his drivers license, then spoke as he put the wallet back into his pants.

"Sorry, Sir! Enjoying the scenery, Sir. I apologize, Sir. David Manner is here, Sir."

"I saw you have to look at your drivers license. Don't you know your own name?"

"My last night of freedom was well spent, Sir."

Some recruits chuckled, and Sergeant Andrews took the time to quiet the others. He kept the young man in his field of vision however, as the experienced soldier still expected him to be trouble. The expression on the young man's face however returned to being bland, and he did not speak, even as others had to be silenced.

Sergeant Andrews finally was able to return his full attention to the one he had identified as being trouble. "Mr. Manner, what state are you from?"

"Wisconsin, Sir."

"I hear only steers and queers are from Wisconsin."

"Wisconsin is known for cheese, Sir. You can't get that from either."

Yes, the words were that of a challenge, but the flow of syllables came rather flat. Sergeant Andrews did however have to glance at others that reacted to the words. Once he again had the group silenced did he again fully focus on the one he felt to be the real threat.

"Mr. Manner, you are not in Wisconsin anymore."

"Still, Sir, you are not supposed to ask about me being a possible queer."

No one reacted to that statement, except to stop breathing in order to hear what would be said in return. Sergeant Andrews would have taken advantage of the silence in order to shoot out a response to the problem recruit. His attention was however distracted by an officer running up to him. Even though none had gone through proper training, all did their best to come to attention as a major brought himself to a stop next to the sergeant.

Returning the salute, the officer said, "I am sorry to intrude, Sergeant Andrews, but I have a special message to one of your recruits."

"Which one of these sorry excuses for humanity has a message from their mommy?"

"David Manner."

"Mr. Manner, I would like to hear what your mommy has to say."

There was a good possibility that the major would take the recruit away to say the words privately, but he showed no inclination to respect the confidentiality of the words. "Recruit Manner, this is a message from Top Secret. You are to accept this assignment."

The young man coldly said in response, "Top Secret is Air Force. This is the Army."

"Do you need the situation explained?"

"No, Sir. Sorry, Sir. Sergeant Andrews, Sir, I apologize. I will no longer challenge your steer or queer question."

The major turned to the sergeant to ask, "Were you having trouble with this recruit?"

The piece of paper was set between the first two fingers of the officer. While the major had said his words before the group of recruits, the piece of paper was not presented so publicly. Sergeant Andrews moved his hand to deftly take the slip while he answered the question.

"Just getting to know each other, Major."

"I will then leave you to your job, Sergeant. Carry on."

Sergeant Andrews wanted to read the note, but stuck it in his pocket. The sudden rushed presence of the officer told him enough. He was not to mess with this young man, but devote his attention to the other recruits. Sergeant Andrews thus went back to calling the roll. While the young man continued to radiate trouble, he never caused any. Sergeant Andrews thus felt no need to pull out the note and read it.

The young man, who never paused again in responding to the name of David Manner, caused no problems for the rest of the day. He followed the orders. While others tried to establish some control over their new environment, David did not speak or otherwise seek to dominate. The only problem that Sergeant Andrews had with him was that he seemed to respond to some commands before they were spoken.

Sergeant Andrews however again felt that there would be a problem when the recruits were allowed to eat. The first general problem with recruits were determining their health. Marching and other basic drills helped get the potential soldiers working with each other even as it had them moving. Watching and listening to the recruits would alert those with authority toward what physical ailments might need to be avoided with proper exercises. Most thus were quite depleted by the time they were sent to the mess hall, but David showed no signs of being tired. He accepted what was put on his tray, then stuffed it in his mouth while his eyes studied the building.

Hoping to curtail any coming problem with David Manner, Sergeant Andrews pulled out the piece of paper to read what it said. He was not surprised to find a simple sentence written by a computer printer, then cut from the original paper. The words, 'His name is Silent,' did not seem to be an honest piece of information, although the sergeant hoped that fact would help.

Strangely, the name, Silent, did apply to David Manner. He seldom said anything. He did speak, but only to direct questions, and usually only from those asked by superiors. Among the other recruits, he began to be called Silent even though there was not any evidence of the information on the paper being passed to others.

Sergeant Andrews felt some relief in finding that David Manner worked to be part of the group. He did not refuse to participate in activities. If a fellow recruit seemed to be having trouble, he would help. David did not go out of his way to give aid. He did not challenge the efforts of others. The other recruits however quickly seemed to recognize that David could perform most drills, so looked to him for guidance on what steps to take. David did not seem to enjoy going first, but only once refused to step up and do as asked.

Sergeant Andrews quickly responded to the words of dismissal, "I believe that you were given an order, Recruit."

David crisply saluted as he replied, "Drill Sergeant, I did not mean to challenge any order, Drill Sergeant, Sir. I simply suggested a pause in reconsidering."

The one in charge of the training exercise worked to present his own authority, "What is your reasoning for making the suggestion?"

"Sir, I cheat, Sir."

"I accept the challenge, Recruit."

Not enough time had passed for complicated drills on self-defense. This was really nothing more than an introductory course. The instructor was a highly trained disciple of certain arts, and felt that his experience put him beyond the skills of anyone trained outside the military.

David did not speak, but simply walked towards the instructor. Just to teach a lesson, the military teacher made his attack as the recruit went through the opening bow. While the instructor made a powerful spin kick, David dropped to the ground, rolled, then pushed up with his hands to have a boot go into the stomach of the instructor. While most recruits would have stopped with one good maneuver, David finished his roll, and, as the instructor bent over attempting to regain his breath, sent a fist into the side of the instructor's face. Before most knew what had happened, David rose as if completing his bow while the military teacher collapsed on the mat.

The room stayed quiet while the military instructor regained his composure. David stayed in his place and did not speak. All waited to see what would happen next.

The instructor went through no ritual bow, but simply approached the young man to ask, "You have had some training?"

"Sir, No, Sir. I have just had to survive a number of fights."

"Your face does not look as someone who has fought a lot."

"I am a quick study, and I would not be here if I had lost."

The instructor looked around to those who had watched the routine keeping his face tense before saying, "Those were still good moves."

"Sir, thank you, Sir. However, I have no formal training. I desired someone else to go first so I could learn things as they are supposed to be learned. I did not want to go first, because, as I said, I cheat."

"Then return to your place, Recruit."

The action earned David some more respect among his peers, although Sergeant Andrews again noticed that the young man did not gloat over his popularity and continued to seldom speak. He was glad that things had progressed enough to spend one evening with the men, as he hoped to get some answers. Sergeant Andrews had things to ask others in the company, and methodically conversed with each on the roll. In not focusing on David, the experienced soldier expected to earn enough respect to get some honest words from him.

I'd like to run some comments but I'm confused as to your intentions. Is this something you want help with? Or is it a completed chapter you're just posting for people to read?

Hey, I comment on other people's stuff. I definitely give you a hard time. Thus, feel free to say whatever you like.

I wrote this some time ago as the story idea burned in my skull. I am personally not military, although most of the men in my family are (I had a ruptured spleen in my early teens that limited my usefulness to the military which was then still fighting the Vietnam War). I thus will claim some accuracy, but nothing fully proper.

I do have certain quibbles with the story, so you might find me accepting your comments instead of retorting to them. I however am going to post the story in my usual installment every five days style whether you vehemently speak against it or not. Still, yes, this site is for discussion, so don't keep yourself quiet.

I'm a firm believer that any story can be told as long as it's written with good quality.
The better the quality, the easier and more enjoyable it is to see the picture you're trying to present us with. A change from the usual genre could really get the creative juices flowing. i'd say I have at least 6 other firm ideas for stories, and only 3 of them are fantasy. I have horror and even a gangster kind of story in mind.

I'll give this a read properly when I'm not drinking and give my views. They won't be hard, I'm quite friendly LOL

The Search for Silent
Chapter One
Part 2

It was hard working down the roll that evening, but finally it was the young man's turn. He had not participated in the group sharing. He was present, although stayed basically unmoving while the others spoke. Sergeant Andrews noticed that the other men did not seem surprised by David's silence. It was time however for him to reveal some information.

Sergeant Andrews tried to make his first question sound friendly. "David Manner, I assume that you are not originally from Wisconsin."

"I am surprised that they are claiming me, but I will return the honor by claiming them."

No chuckles sounded. Sergeant Andrews received the impression that the others in the room also wanted to know some history of the quiet young man. The experienced soldier thus sought to bond the group by helping them gain some facts.

"I was given a note saying to call you 'Silent.'"

A almost imperceptible expression of shock passed on the young man's face before he softly replied, "A name is a name."

"What made you join the Army, Silent?"

"I was drafted."

"There is no draft. This is a volunteer Army."

"I volunteered to work with Top Secret. Top Secret is Air Force. Why I was placed in the Army, I do not know."

Sergeant Andrews was pleased that the others held their comments as he replied, "You still volunteered."

"Top Secret understood that I was not military. I don't know why I am here."

One of the other recruits said, "Probably they felt that you needed training."

"I did my missions. I…" The eyes of the young man locked on the sergeant as he said, "I am sorry, I cannot say anything more. I guess that it is time for me to again earn my name."

Sergeant Andrews did not hear David, Silent, say anything more that night. He did return to his normal quiet participation the next day. Sergeant Andrews however made a decision to try and learn just who or what Top Secret was, and what power it held over a man whose name was Silent.

It was hard working with a company that had a recruit that radiated trouble. While Silent never challenged the chain of command, those with him seemed to give him a respect that at times was higher than the experienced soldiers. Sergeant Andrews learned to watch Silent, and use certain non-verbal cues to redirect attention from him to those who were supposed to be in charge. Those who had authority often wanted to challenge the young man to take away some of his status, but besides personal ego there was never a reason to make such a scene. Sergeant Andrews and the various instructors suffered the presence of Silent while waiting for the opening to remove the threat they felt he represented.

Besides martial arts, Silent did nothing to draw attention to himself. He was good with weapons, but did not show a love of the firearms that others displayed. Sergeant Andrews could not deny the whispered comment from the range instructor that Silent purposely missed to prevent himself from earning a 'Marksman' rating, but found himself not wanting to confront the man. In martial arts Silent displayed some willingness to be found above average, but it was a discipline that rewarded those who excelled by allowing them to take less abuse. Silent did show vanity about his appearance in that he disliked being hit.

Sergeant Andrews noticed that no further notes were given to him about Silent. While an officer had quickly arrived on the first day during an exchange with the young man, no further disturbances in the usual treatment of recruits occurred. It did help knowing that he was being given authority to treat Silent as a normal beginner soldier, but Sergeant Andrews found himself wanting to know about the special problem that he had in his presence. Without having any intimate details to use against Silent, he fell back upon an old issue that had caused the earlier exchange.

While standing in line waiting to enter the mess hall, Sergeant Andrews came beside Silent and asked, "You are not gay, are you?"

"I will offer you no evidence either way, Drill Sergeant. I have learned not to show interest to those that I work with."

"You do seem to treat the women different, however."

"I promise not to allow things to develop."

The line was advancing, so the sergeant asked, "What do you plan to eat?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess that we are going to be allowed to eat. I assume whatever they put on my tray."

"I like their pizza."

"Pizza? No, I like pizza. I will wait until I can get out of this place, then eat real pizza."

"Are you saying that you don't like our cooking?"

"I can't say that I have tasted any yet."

This was more of a conversation than Sergeant Andrews ever had with Silent. It was more of a conversation than he had known of anyone having with Silent. For once, the young man actually sounded like a normal recruit. The experienced soldier knew that he was not supposed to get too chummy with the recruits, but also felt that some support of the change in behavior was necessary.

Silent had not been one to pay attention to what he was eating. His eyes roamed the room each meal as if seeking a manner of escape. He really did not watch the people, although he was aware of movement around him. Sergeant Andrews did not attempt to be sneaky. Yes, Silent saw him, but most in the room looked as the sergeant picked up a bottle of tabasco sauce, brought it to Silent, then shook out the contents over the food on his plate. The young man reached for a salt shaker, and liberally sprinkled a layer on his food, then did the same with some black pepper. He still did not pay attention to what he ate, but he did watch the sergeant as the food moved to his mouth.

At no time did Silent reach for his glass while he ate. While there was some indications upon his face that the found the food strong, his eyes stayed clear and no sweat showed on his forehead. Upon realizing that he had finished his tray, he still did not seek to wash down the rather strong food. He simply assured that he had the focus of the sergeant before speaking.

"Colonel Sanders had a weak stomach, because he only used eleven herbs and spices in his recipe."

"I guess that I don't want you cooking for me."

Silent nodded, then took his glass and downed the liquid. All returned to their own conversations, although Sergeant Andrews noticed that most spoke on their own favorite foods and recipes. He was not certain if he had broken through any barrier that Silent had erected, but did believe that he had reduced in himself the intensity of just how dangerous he felt the young man to be.

Coming out to face his recruits the next morning, Sergeant Andrews noticed a smile on Silent's face. Making a comment to him had the pleasant expression disappear. During the early activities, there was a level of vigor in the young man's actions however. Instead of turning over the proceedings to others, Sergeant Andrews maintained control of the company. Silent's actual display of being happy became obvious, as he seemed more anxious with each passing hour.

Sergeant Andrews turned his head when he noticed the ever alert gaze of Silent lock on a distant figure. The experienced soldier had forgotten about mail call. It was rare this early in the training, but after a couple of weeks some messages from home were allowed to pass to the recruits. Most who knew of those that left for boot camp did not know how, or sometimes even where, to write, so only a lucky few got mail. Allowing mail however helped the recruits to realize that the real world was still out there, and helped motivate them to desire to write to those they left behind later in the training process. Wondering if Silent expected mail, Sergeant Andrews started to feel anxious about a certain arrival as well.

A couple of those in the company had spouses who had devotedly written. Most had parents or siblings that wanted to assure that their lost family member knew they had not been forgotten. Silent was the only one to get two letters. Sergeant Andrews noted that each letter was addressed to Silent, and not David Manner. It seemed that the others in the company also noticed what name was called out. All wondered how well known Silent was in the world beyond.

One recruit called out, "Hey, Silent, did your parents give you that name?"

Silent was not ripping open either letter, even though others were without being reprimanded. He gave those around him a glance that normally told them to not expect an answer. Joy in receiving the letters showed on his face however, and his pleased attitude allowed some words to come out.

"No, but one of these is from the person that did. The other is from my father, and he knows what I have been up to."

Sergeant Andrews hushed any further questions by approaching Silent and asking, "Are either of those letters from Wisconsin?"

"No, Sir."

"Do you need to read the letters in private?"

"Yes, Sir, and destroy them afterwards."

"Matthews, I need your cigarette lighter."

The recruit acted as if he was going to refuse having the item on his person, but suddenly produced it. Sergeant Andrews did not thank the recruit, but simply handed it to Silent. He nodded to Matthews as an indication that it would be returned, then moved away to a solitary point on the side of a building.

Sergeant Andrews noted that Silent spent a good amount of time with one letter. The other he only opened as the first burned. Before it could turn to ash, the second was burning with it.

Silent returned to his normal watchful but quiet self. Sergeant Andrews kept listening for some piece of information to be dropped to another recruit working with Silent, but that never happened. While he seemed very excited to receive the letters, it was now the day after Christmas and all the toys were broken. It was time for life to return to normal, and for Silent that meant living up to his name.

Sergeant Andrews turned over management of his recruits to the respective instructors in order to follow his own leads. He however found himself sitting in front of his computer unsure how to search for possible clues. Both 'Top Secret' and 'Silent' were too common of terms. As names they were common as well, with a multitude of books, movies, and articles having those words as part of their title. He needed something specific to weed out the mass of other references that would come up in a search.

The door had been shut, and locked, but the knock was soft as if the one there did not want to announce himself. Sergeant Andrews looked to his computer screen thinking to turn it off, but realized that he had not yet done anything. Feeling that a simple search engine screen would not incriminate him, he rose to answer the door.

General Bethany did not bother with any introduction, but simply moved into the room. He shut the door while indicating for the sergeant to return to his seat behind the desk. The high-ranking officer did not sit until the NCO was in his chair.

"Leave Silent alone, Sergeant. He is not here to cause trouble."

Neither man really knew each other, so there was no surprise that a name was left out of the command. "He is a disturbing influence, General. All I want is some information to keep the focus of the recruits."

"That man has a National Security Medal. It was awarded in private, as no one really wants to admit that he exists. He has family, however, and friends. I happen to know about Silent because I recognized him. They had to tell me things, because I knew enough to identify him."

"National Security Medal? They don't hand those things out to anyone."

"Oh, if you had been paying attention to the news, you might have caught the event. The leaders of our nation tried to hush it up, but it was reported. All they could do was keep down the hype, release fictitious names, and be grateful that other events happened to help move the public onto other things."

Sergeant Andrews had been surprised by the earlier fact, but calmed his mind as he sought to pull out further information about his problem recruit. "He said that he was drafted."

"Oh, he is not here willingly. The problem is that the events that put the man in the position that earned him the honor might not ever occur again. Events are speaking against such however, as we put two men who supposedly were the best of the best in what Silent did, and they are both dead. In each case the opposition identified the person as not being Silent. They do not know who he is, but they know who he is not. Silent might not have long to live should he be identified."

"We do not coddle soldiers here."

The general leaned over the desk as he said, "You coddle Silent, Sergeant. You bend over and kiss his nuts if that would hold him here. He can walk. This is a volunteer Army, and you have recruits deciding to go back to their mommies all the time. You better make Silent feel that his mommy is here, if that is necessary."

"He seemed eager to get his mail today."

"Those letters were sent willingly enough. Watch him however, as the one who mailed one letter will probably not be in a position to mail another. He will worry about that one. We cannot have him going after Top Secret."

"He said that Top Secret was Air Force."

"And don't you think that Silent could not walk into an air field and get taken wherever he wanted. The Navy fought for him as well. I know the Marines took down his name to request if they felt a special need."

"Boot camp has barely started. He has already made a name for himself."

The general nodded before saying, "He is strange however, so he is just something that the soldiers whisper to each other. It is not like we have Elvis or some other famous personality. Treat Silent as nothing special, and you will be doing your country another service, Sergeant."

It was now time for Sergeant Andrews to nod, and in considering his problem he thought upon what had happened earlier. "It would help if we could get him something he likes to eat. Everyone notices that he simply stuffs the food into his mouth while looking at the room. It seems that he prefers rather spicy food."

"I will pass that request to those who might have answers, Sergeant. Any other request in that vein will also be taken seriously."

"Thank you for your time, General."

"Silent is a national hero, Sergeant. We need to treat him as such."

Sergeant Andrews did not lock the door behind the General. There was no longer any need for secrecy. As much as the sergeant would have preferred having answers, he returned to his desk accepting that the mystery of Top Secret and the hold over Silent would have to presently stay unrevealed.

Hello TerishD,

Before I even begin this critique I have to say that you are a writing machine. Does your keyboard even have keys anymore? :P

Now to the fun part. After reading and commenting on the first few chapters of your last story, I recognize that your style isn't typical, and as always, I'll keep that in mind. I find that you write the bear minimum of what needs to be said which is, in itself, a lesson of restraint for a writer, let alone a long winded critiquer. But I'll do my best not to cramp your style.

There were only a few sentences that were a little difficult to digest. The first being...well, the second.

"He had learned a number of expressions in the young people that gave him clues as to there personalities."

I had to re-read this sentence several times to realize what you were getting at. I know what your saying but it really did take a minute because at first I was thinking verbal expressions. "Their facial expressions gave him clues as to their personalities."

"The recruit was not tall, in fact he was about average having a height of a couple of inches short of six feet."

Just seems a little wordy for your style. Pick one or the other, but both is a little much. "The recruit was not tall, in fact he was about average height." Or "The recruit was not tall, just a couple inches short of six feet."

I think you did a great job providing the reader a sense of Silent and Sergeant Andrews personalities. Although you didn't fill the story in with long winded background, or inner reflections, I feel like I "know" who these characters are.

Lastly, I would like to suggest adding a sense of time and location. I'm not sure if its simply your style (which is why this is simply a suggestion) but from the first sentence to the last, I really don't know how much time has passed or the location of the characters except for a few brief moments. Has a couple days passed or a couple weeks? What base are they training at?

And well...that's all she wrote.

Thanks.

Let me first respond to the latter mentioning of specific time, place, people, etc. Ah, you see, that is why I did not seek to publish this thing. I believe the story is solid. I believe that I have wonderful characters. However, I have read several books of this genre, and what sets it is tangible facts about real people and places along with good solid little tidbits grounding the events into our world (even the though the story itself is fiction). I have traveled a lot, but not through military bases. I have been on military vessels, such as aircraft carriers (a benefit of growing up outside of New Orleans), but not really spent time aboard them when active. In short, I cannot add the trivia data that those who buy such books would require. Thus, yes, the background scenery and minor important characters (such as ACTUAL military officers serving in certain positions) are glossed over. I however still like this story.

As to the speed of writing, I often wonder why others cannot handle such a pace. I have taken college tests where there were MANY questions each requiring AT LEAST a paragraph to answer. A couple of thousand words is easy for me. Also, I write in scenes. Once I get it straight in my head what is going to happen, who is going to do it, and a few other details, writing it does not take that long. I am not Clark Kent, but I can type at about 40 words a minute. Thus, writing an installment takes about an hour -- and there is usually still coffee in the pot allowing me to fix another cup and start to work editing what I just typed.

As to my choice of sentences, I write what I believe is best for mood, pace, and character. I find it really strange that the SAME editor that wants a single-person PoV, says what you say about making each sentence tight. Get real. Not every character will present data in the same manner. I do not write for brevity, but for properly telling the story. I am not going to say that I will always make the right choice, but I will say that brevity is not even on my list of conditions for proper sentence structure.

Thank you again for reading and responding.