| Poll | | | Is the phrase "Once upon a time..." | | Overused | | 33% | [ 1 ] | | Underused | | 67% | [ 2 ] |
| | Total Votes : 3 |
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| Monthly Writing Prompt |
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;
The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?
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| Writing Tip |
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.
Look Back
When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.
One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.
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| | | Masterful Eyes |  |
| | | Author | Message |
|---|
Leaka
Number of posts : 334
Age : 32
Location : I'm one of the voices in your mind
Current Mood : 
Registration date : 2008-09-25
|  Subject: Masterful Eyes  October 2nd 2008, 2:53 pm | |
| A really short poem:
I am the wonderful Masterful Eyes
I have watched you grow with
these wonderful eyes of mine
I am the Masterful Eyes
Who has done everything for
you, but what have you done
for me except shun me with
your terrible lies | |
| | | | Kellycakes
Number of posts : 1136
Age : 46
Location : State of Thankfulness!
Current Mood : 
Registration date : 2008-07-17
| | Subject: Re: Masterful Eyes October 28th 2008, 4:26 am | |
| You have a good start here, but its clearly not a finished piece. You need more here or the reader is left totally upset at the wasted minute they spent reading it. Great writing so far, love the title, but it needs more, especially making a point. | |
| | | | HYdraMStar
Number of posts : 1170
Age : 45
Location : Charlotte, NC
Current Mood : 
Registration date : 2008-07-20
| | Subject: Re: Masterful Eyes October 29th 2008, 8:51 pm | |
| So, are the Masterful Eyes some sort of god, or what?
It feels like the good start of something, but seems unfinished somehow. | |
| | | | Leaka
Number of posts : 334
Age : 32
Location : I'm one of the voices in your mind
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-09-25
| | Subject: Re: Masterful Eyes October 30th 2008, 4:38 pm | |
| Thank you for the criticism.
I really appreciate it.
But this is suppose to be a poem that reads to everyone.
It should be what you think the Masterful Eyes is.
The Masterful Eyes could be your belief in a higher power.
Or someone you believe in.
And that someone is talking to you.
Its suppose to be a speech like poem, and it should be creepy sounding.
Cause this goes with one of my horror stories.
Masterful Eyes, obviously.
The lies can be whatever you feel guilty about.
This poem is about everyone.
You are to look at the tiny amount and think. | |
| | | | HYdraMStar
Number of posts : 1170
Age : 45
Location : Charlotte, NC
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-07-20
| | Subject: Re: Masterful Eyes October 30th 2008, 4:53 pm | |
| Nice premise, but you'll never write a poem that speaks to everyone. | |
| | | | Leaka
Number of posts : 334
Age : 32
Location : I'm one of the voices in your mind
Current Mood :
Registration date : 2008-09-25
| | Subject: Re: Masterful Eyes October 30th 2008, 4:56 pm | |
| Its obvious that I won't write a poem that speaks to everyone.
It has been proven. | |
| | | | John Yamrus
Number of posts : 129
Registration date : 2008-09-04
| | Subject: Re: Masterful Eyes October 31st 2008, 9:20 am | |
| when the explanation of a poem is longer than the poem itself, then ultimately the poem must be considered a failure. please don't take this personally...look at it objectively...first off, you repeated the eyes thing three times in two stanzas...way too much. this:
I am the Masterful Eyes
Who has done everything for
you,
could have worked better as this:
I have done everything
for you
the whole poem has an awkward feel to it...it doesn't work logically (as all poems MUST)...for example...you can't shun someone with lies...you shun them with actions. Shunning, as practiced by the Amish and other simple people, is an emotional and physical TURNING AWAY from someone...eliminating them from their lives entirely. it has absolutely nothing to do with lies. think about the weight of the words you're using. in poetry, each and every single word is crucial.
take care...and please keep on trying. this is not an easy field you're working in, but it can be very rewarding.
john | |
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