Snacker
Number of posts : 818 Age : 39 Location : Stuck in Michigan Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-17
| Subject: The Way I Want To Make You Feel July 18th 2008, 3:45 am | |
| I want to make you feel special I want to make you feel new I want to make you feel loved With everything I do
I want to hold you close when you're sad I want to wipe the tears from your face Every time we are together I want that it seems like the perfect place
My eyes light up when you enter a room I smile when we are together No matter how bad things are You always make them better
I love the way you kiss me The way you hold me tight I love the way you touch me I want to be with you all night
I want to make you laugh For absolutely no reason at all I love how no matter what I do I want to be there to catch you when you fall
I just want you to know That even though we sometimes fight I will always love you No matter what, day or night | |
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Kellycakes
Number of posts : 1136 Age : 46 Location : State of Thankfulness! Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-17
| Subject: Re: The Way I Want To Make You Feel July 21st 2008, 2:40 pm | |
| Very cute. Sweet, innocent and obviously in love. I know this isn't the critique section but you know I'm going to tell you what I think. There is a couple lines: - Quote :
- I love how no matter what I do
I want to be there to catch you when you fall
I don't know if its a tense jump or what. But they they don't go together, maybe a rearrangement of words or something? I'm not sure something doesn't seem quite right even though they rhyme pretty well. Hmm, what to do.. | |
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