Dilemma of Dreams - 18

An adult speculative Christian post-Armageddon fiction
Dilemma of Dreams
Chapter Eighteen: Complete
Gathering More Evidence

I returned to camp wanting for Dimerkess to tell me as much as he could about collapsing realities. From what he said, it was an ancient problem that was only being a serious situation now due to how things were changing now that the original creation had ended. Dimerkess said that God had never stopped any of his children from creating their own little realities. In the early days, He would do things to keep them running or upon their collapse simply have the child return to Heaven to relax before trying again.

He mentioned that the latter option was still the usual result of a failure of a reality. What had created the turmoil however was the shock upon the person whose little territory collapsed. Dimerkess claimed that if creating a reality and having it fail was no more troubling than falling off a horse, which it seemed to have been previously, no one would care.

I listened to him thinking back to my own experience. It had been a traumatic experience for me. I however considered that I would probably not have gone through the effort again after its failure. I did enjoy being Sheriff Mesapher, but I considered that I might have simply returned to my room in Heaven and actually opened up my books to live my fantasy in such a manner.

I guess that I had gone silent thinking about how my own experience colored what Dimerkess was saying, as I heard Peralte ask, “So, what you are saying is the problem is not new, but only the results.”

Dimerkess replied, “Yes, basically.”

“What has changed?”

“It would help if we could simply identify the problem.”

Jeraketh said, “Listen, if God has not figured it out, we don’t have a chance.”

Peralte countered by saying, “I don’t think He has bothered to consider it.”

I would not allow either to suggest any limitations on my Father. “No. He knows what the problem is. He however wants us to resolve it. It is just not a problem in His eyes. So, we fail. We just spend time in Heaven close to Him. Big deal.”

“You didn’t.”

“And He thinks that I can figure this thing out. Something about my different perspective He feels might allow me to see the problem.”

Jeraketh asked, “Because you became a woman?”

“Maybe. Since we are looking at the obvious, Dimerkess, how many people have gone through sex changes after having a reality collapse?”

He replied, “How am I supposed to know that?”

Peralte answered, “Ask God.” He then did what he suggested. “God, Father, how many people have gone through sex changes after having a reality collapse?”

“Twenty-one. To go ahead and answer your next set of questions, Peralte, that is approximately one-seventh of one percent of the total number of reality collapses.”

“Thank you, Father.” Peralte looked to us as he said, “The man does know me.”

Jeraketh made an observation that I felt myself making. “Didn’t He just say that Vetacha’s situation is not unique, although rare?”

Dimerkess replied, “Yes, but the sex change could still be important to noticing the clues.”

Peralte mumbled, “Damn,” then looked to us to explain, “I did not mention male-to-female or female-to-male.”

“Do you think it matters?”

“No. It is not that Mesapher became Vetacha. It is something about her nature.” Everyone stayed silent as if hoping that Peralte would come up with something, but he finally broke the silence by admitting defeat. “Darling, I hope that you can get it. Not only will it prove God’s faith in you, but it would be nice to simply resolve the problem.”

I went and got me something to eat. The others did as well. I guess that we all felt resting our minds might help for some resolution to come.

Not knowing what else to do, I went and got my journal. I had never kept one before, so the blank page bothered me. I then had the decision about whether I should write in Latin or my native language. I was still sitting looking at the blank sheet when Peralte came to me, looked over my shoulder at the blank journal, then offered something to get me started.

“At least claim it.”

“What?”

“Write down that this is the journal of Vetacha.”

That sounded sensible, but before I could put the pen to the paper I asked another question. “Do you think that I should write in Latin?”

“Do you think in Latin?”

“Uh, no.”

I wanted to say that the Holy Mass had been in Latin, so I felt it appropriate now that we were in the holy afterlife, but Peralte did not give me time. “So you don’t write in Latin. Use the journal to write down your thoughts.”

After the simple little declaration of whose journal it was, the words came easily for me. I spent time detailing my situation, then working on all the data that I had collected and the conclusions I had formed. When I finally finished, I saw only Peralte in the room. Realizing that it was probably late, I closed the journal while telling him that I was going to bed.

“What did you figure out?”

I again felt like crying, but again instead of releasing my emotions I put my thoughts toward making a more positive response. “That I am right.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, all my conclusions still seem valid, but that only means that I have no clue what the real solution is.”

Peralte smiled wider as he replied, “I don’t believe that. I believe that you are going to get it, Vetacha. You are definitely putting out the effort.”

“I am not saying that I am not, or that I won’t, but only that I am trusting God to hold this reality together until I do, you do, or somebody does. Leotion does not need for this reality to collapse.” I looked to the sky as I said, “Father, I honestly believe that.”

Peralte returned, “Well, for the moment, I feel that we can be rather certain that it won’t collapse tomorrow. Just speaking from experience there.”

The voice of Dimerkess sounded from his blankets, “I have more experience than you, and I agree.”

“Good, so – tomorrow, Vetacha, after you had a day to think over what you wrote, I want to read what you wrote.”

I honestly felt that I was being open enough in our discussions, so replied, “You don’t read a girl’s diary, Peralte.”

“Yes, but associates do not keep their information on a project secret.”

I still felt that I was being open enough, but wondering just how open Peralte was being with me, I asked, “So, I can read yours?”

“I showed you parts of mine already. I promise to only read what you wrote tonight.”

I smiled as I admitted, “It is not a diary, but only my thoughts about this situation. You can read it, but I feel that I have been open enough in speaking with you.”

“I agree. That is why I don’t want to read it right now. Now that you have rationally organized your thoughts, and after you had some time allowing your mind to rest and ponder the information, I will give you a day to see where things take you. Only after you spend a day again feeling a sense of failure will I try to compare notes and see where I felt you might be wrong.”

It sounded like a sensible plan to me. I went to the chest containing my clothes to put up my journal and claim my pajamas. I really had not worn them since that first night with Peralte when I got them wet, so spent my first evening in the nude. As I moved to the bath tub, I saw Assadra working with her hair. Wondering how her time sneaking up near the homes of the locals had gone, I decided to ask her about her plans for tomorrow.

“I don’t know what I am going to do tomorrow, Vetacha. I am sure that I am going to come up with something, but I just don’t know right now. The people seem happy. I noticed couples doing what couples do. Children playing, everyone seemed to be living a good life.”

I replied, “This is not what I would call a good life. It looks rather plain to me.”

We spent time discussing the lives that we saw the locals living. There was a supply of food. The land did not present itself as being overly harsh. Assadra did mention that the winters could be cold, then asked me about the changes in weather over the year. I really had not taken that into account, and suspected that Leotion had not either. We thus figured that a few days of rain probably was as bad as things got.

I finally had to conclude, “This should not be a bad life at all. I can understand why Leotion would be happy here.”

“Yes, and other than the problems of childbirth, I cannot see why his wife would complain either.”

“Well, it wouldn’t matter, would it?”

I want to say that both Assadra and I felt that we had touched on the important issue. I know that we both stared at each other. Only after a moment of thought did she supply an answer.

“It shouldn’t. This is Leotion’s world.”

I followed her statement. “But the commoners do have some chance at salvation. God does have some concern for them.” My eyes continued to look into those of Assadra as I mumbled, “That’s it. I know what the problem is.”