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Is the phrase "Once upon a time..."
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Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Empty33%Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Empty
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Total Votes : 3
Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

Writing Tip
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

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» Abduction to Elfland: Part 4 (19)
Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Icon_minitimeAugust 14th 2020, 6:22 am by TerishD

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» Abduction to Elfland: Part 2 (7-12)
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» Abduction to Elfland: Part 1 (1-6)
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» To Know Sweet and Sour - Part Seven (35 - Epi)
Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Icon_minitimeMay 11th 2020, 6:38 am by TerishD

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 Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4

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TerishD

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TerishD


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PostSubject: Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4   Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Icon_minitimeOctober 17th 2008, 7:59 am

Chapters 1-3 are present on the site for those that desire some background.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Four

Giluchex ended his speech slightly proud of himself. He felt that he still had his ability to take the floor and lead the assembly in the proper direction. The council had not met for a few years, and there were issues sitting on his desk for the main government body to handle. Once he brought the present matter to a vote, he felt able to lead the chamber into resolving other matters.

No applause or accolades sounded when Giluchex stepped back from the podium. His eyes shot to certain political associates to wonder why they at least were not making the usual verbal gestures. Centuries of political maneuverings had Giluchex simply move from the front podium when he saw his usual supporters huddling together. While he privately considered it to have been a good speech, he moved to the desk of Chorrik. The man was not of his affiliation, but normally clear-headed although easy to manipulate. His desk was also on the front row of the chamber. Giluchex thus found Chorrik an easy and politically safe person to move to and ask advice when a speech was received with silence.

Chorrik did not wait for a question to be asked, but softly said as Giluchex came near, "You did not even research the issue, did you?"

"What was there to research? This is an unprecedented event."

"Unprecedented my butt. Since when have children become unprecedented?"

"There has not been a child born to one of our citizens for centuries."

"They use to occur all the time. Let me see, Giluchex. Do the names: Nuverria, Kalent, and Hovurkin mean anything to you?"

"Kalent was lost in the war."

"So you know who they are?"

Giluchex noticed that there were some in the chamber attempting to hold back chuckles. Normally a reference to having a personal family member killed in the struggle over immortality brought a pause to those listening. The usual sign of shared grieving however was not being displayed. Giluchex thus sought to regain what standing he had lost.

"They are my children, Chorrik. What is your point?"

"You did teach your children? Didn't you?"

"We had schools in those days."

"We never removed the system. The schools themselves have been put to other uses with most being demolished for new structures, but the system itself is still on record."

Giluchex noticed that the room had grown silent. Chorrik, a usually quiet member of the political body, was now being listened to. Giluchex did not like that at all. Before his mind could start into the machinations to put Chorrik in his place however, the fellow council member spun a piece of paper on his desk and pushed it forward.

"Strangely, Giluchex, your credentials are even valid."

"I believe that I retired from education."

"I believe you are on record as 'moving from leading the young to leading us all.' You retired from the military, but retirement was never mentioned in your career change from teaching."

Giluchex considered it dirty politics to bring up election propaganda, especially election propaganda that was centuries old. That phrase dated back to before the war. He looked to Chorrik wondering when he had become so politically astute.

"I cannot step down to teach the prince."

"Who said anything about stepping down? You just pumped air for almost an hour. Prince Venicht has never heard your speeches."

"Surely there are those better qualified."

Chorrik shot from his desk as his hand grabbed another sheet of paper. No one else had moved to the podium. It was actually the empress that determined who could or could not speak, but in the absence of her presence the council members were expected to show their own decorum. With the lack of opposition, Chorrik took authority over the chamber.

"I present to the body of the council those whom Empress Straekin has personally requested to teach her son. Let it be known that I have already researched the matter. The reason that I have Councilman Giluchex's long antiquated application to the Dibrosan School District is that he is on the list. Now, I know that the castle does not fall under Council Giluchex's district, but we have since the war been one people and the list has names from many districts around the globe."

Anger flared in the eyes of Giluchex as he moved to the podium to grab the sheet of paper for himself. Completely unconcerned for those watching, including those with their television set to the government's channel, he held his position at the front of the chamber as his eyes scanned the page. The sheet was of a leathery material written in long hand with an archaic type of pen using a very dark ink. While the manufacture appeared to be of the technology of Thiminy, the handwriting was easily determined to be that of Empress Straekin. Next to his name, Giluchex saw the words, 'I have not forgotten.' He tried to regain some composure and some standing before the political body as he put strength into his voice while asking a question.

"Where did you get this? I assume from Attendant Annalia."

Chorrik replied, "No, although it was in speaking to her that I learned of its existence. General Nuverd was put in charge of Prince Venict's education. I went to him for this parchment."

Giluchex handed the document back as he said, "My name is on the list, and I do consider it an honor."

"I would consider all on that list, save possibly you, treating being named as an honor. I have not contacted the others, but now I feel that agreement will be unanimous."
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Urs

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PostSubject: Re: Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4   Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Icon_minitimeOctober 19th 2008, 1:24 pm

Intriguing.

I got a little lost in the dialogs as it was hard to follow who was saying what. But all in all this made me wonder what was going to happen next.
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TerishD

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TerishD


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PostSubject: Re: Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4   Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Icon_minitimeOctober 19th 2008, 1:33 pm

Urs wrote:
Intriguing.

I got a little lost in the dialogs as it was hard to follow who was saying what. But all in all this made me wonder what was going to happen next.
I am not going to get on my soapbox about following a two person conversation. Believe it or not, I am working on my dialogues. I usually believe the stage directions to be needless trivia, but with a story more philosophical than action the extra words do help keep the mood.

Thanks for reading and for responding. I appreciate it.
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Leaka

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PostSubject: Re: Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4   Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Icon_minitimeOctober 20th 2008, 10:38 pm

I liked this, I am with Urs, sometimes I got lost.
But I liked it a lot.
I want to read more.
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TerishD

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PostSubject: Chapter 4B   Into the Land of Immortals - Chpt 4 Icon_minitimeOctober 27th 2008, 7:55 am

Venicht came through the door to the private area of the royal apartment to ask, "Annalia, where is your zoo?"

"There is a good zoo in Brevight. The best zoos are quite a distance away though, but I can schedule a visit."

Nuverd said, "She just said that you would have to sit still for a number of hours, Prince Venicht."

Disappointment showed on the lad's countenance as he admitted the man was correct. "I wish we were still in Thiminy. We could ride a horse."

"We can ride them here, Prince Venicht. Fedrukin is however only slightly more than twenty miles away. The zoos here are much further away."

Annalia advised, "But you can get to the zoos here faster than you can get to Fedrukin. Our vehicles go much faster than a horse."

Disappointment showed on the lad's face even as he hopefully asked, "Will father go with us?"

Both adults went quiet with Nuverd first feeling that he had a safe answer. "Both of your parents have overcome great adversity, Prince Venicht. I believe that you are going to grow up and find your life to have been relatively mild in comparison, whatever you might believe at present."

Annalia saw the body language of the boy and realized that he had tuned Nuverd out, so she tried a different tactic. "There is a whole world for you to see, Venicht. You should soon have people coming to you who will be your instructors. They should all have things to tell you and ideas for places you will need to see."

The lad did respond to those words, "Okay, good. I like the people that I have met so far. There is no place to play right now, but they promised to build me one."

"And it will probably be built real soon. In a day or two you probably won't want to go anywhere."

A puzzled expression crossed the countenance of the prince before he asked, "Annalia, do these people know how to make toys?"

"Venicht, we were all children once. Once this world had very many children. We just all grew up. You will find out that we did not forget our toys or how to make them."

Nuverd popped his staff on the floor, then said, "And toys were sent with you from Thiminy, Prince Venicht. Go, change your clothes, then you may play with them."

Annalia added, "Or you may come back to speak with us."

The lad asked, "Can I watch television?"

"If there is anything you want to watch."

"I was told that channel eighty-six would have cartoons."

The lady tried to remember what usually played on channel eighty-six as she replied, "Well, good, I will probably want to watch those myself. Yes, Venicht, you can watch the television." No sooner had the boy left the room than Annalia said to the other adult, "I am glad that we were not in the front room. Venicht will probably learn that he make requests in the front room in order to receive loads of whatever he desires."

The elder man replied, "The castle engineer was called out to discuss the playground to be built for the prince. Queen Straekin would be quite pleased with the manner everyone is treating her son, but I really cannot see so much effort being put out for one child."

"We are not a cruel people, Nuverd. We did not choose immortality to wipe out children from our lives. Empress Straekin is not the only lady on our world that would be willing to bear children."

"I have never heard you mention such a desire."

"I would have to find the right man, Nuverd. Still, if I were given Empress Straekin's blessing, I have a few names that I would contact."

The elder man moved to leave for his own room while saying, "Still, I agree with our rulers that problems will arise."

"Oh, yes, as the council is again meeting. Give that political body any issue, and they will make a major spectacle of it. They have been our major entertainment for the last few centuries… which, I guess, doesn't really speak good of us."

~^~^~ ^~^~^ ~^~^~

Returning to his political office, Giluchex found his private secretary quick to tell him, "I have already been in contact with the library to provide you with certain textbooks."

"Thanks, but no thanks, Cheshine. Empress Straekin might be extremely clever, but I have always been her equal. Those words next to my name were completely understood."

The secretary had always been plump, but the regeneration process had taken away most of the maternal features from the lady. She actually looked good. While Giluchex's wife had also been restored by the immortality process, making the man very unwilling to risk his relationship, he knew that the secretary did desire his healthy form. She worked to please him in certain ways, and he would return innuendoes and gifts as well. While they did not share certain acts, neither liked secrets being kept from the other.

"I don't understand, Giluchex. What words?"

The man smiled with delight as he responded, "Yes, Chorrik did not bring those out. He probably suspected that they were political dynamite, but stayed quiet being unsure. He thus gave me the opening I needed to save face, and I will make use of it."

"Of course." Giluchex could tell that his secretary was annoyed at not being told the words, but she also did not want to become a target of his mental scheming. "What will you need me to do?"

"Nothing. The people are not abusing their access to the prince, so the ability to gain an audience is rather easy." There was no noticeable pause before he added, "Wait. There is something that I did not hear you mention. You have been watching for signs of others coming from Thiminy? Like, Terish?"

She pointed to her cluttered desk while answering, "Since regaining his sanity many years ago, Terish has full command of the omniverse. He can basically come and go wherever he desires."

"Do what you can, but I better find out from you if Terish gets spotted."

Cheshine wanted him to know that threats would not work with her. "All Terish has to do is leave Celatia at Thiminy and dress a little differently. He could be anywhere."

"He could even be directing Chorrik."

Giluchex noticed the features of Cheshine show puzzlement at the mentioned avenue of thought, so thought to explain. "It was unusual for him to take charge. He normally uses his desk up front to assure procedural matters for others."

The eyes of the secretary looked down to her cluttered desk as she added, "We cannot treat things as 'more of the same.' Something different is going down. Giluchex, I promise that I will be studying things to learn what I can."

"Thaunya… " Hearing the name of another lady had the secretary set her eyes upon Giluchex, and he knew to give her the reason for him speaking. "See what Chorrik's wife is up to. The council sent her with Empress Straekin on a couple of missions. The Empress might have suspected that we would do something with her again."

Cheshine did not wait, but immediately reached down and punched a number into her phone. She shared a smile with Gulichex as they both listened to the ring. The face of each then changed to expressions of wonder as they heard a recorded message.

"This is Thaunya, and I want to apologize for suddenly canceling my lessons and performances. I will be away for an undetermined period. Your message is being recorded, so expect a return phone call when I am again available."

The secretary quickly picked up the receiver to say, "Hello, Thaunya, this is Councilman Giluchex's office. Just assuring that no changes occurred to our phone list over the last few years. If you get any further messages, they will be simply invites to certain socials. Bye."

When the connection was closed, Giluchex said, "Yes, something is being planned. This is not the work of Terish however. Straekin does not ride a centaur, is not a genius concerning moving through the omniverse, and everyone has seen her in a multitude of outfits. I better be informed as soon as she returns to Davelda."
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