Kellycakes
Number of posts : 1136 Age : 47 Location : State of Thankfulness! Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-17
| Subject: I'm Out September 5th 2008, 10:50 pm | |
| I’m lost Wandering down that old beaten path Of desolate dreams, untrue I’m misplaced Covered by a darkness of hope Full of imagination I’m missing In a world beyond my expectations Unable to grasp one fragment I’m forlorn In systematic yet isolated confusion Wanting to compromise life I’m omitted Lead astray by my own doubt And constant worry I’m absent In a body not my own Covered with the scars of life I’m vanished Nowhere to be found, contemplating Anything and everything I’m gone Out of my mind again Not wanting to face authenticity I’m out | |
|
Snacker
Number of posts : 818 Age : 39 Location : Stuck in Michigan Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-17
| Subject: Re: I'm Out September 6th 2008, 1:59 am | |
| Short and to the point. Nice work! | |
|
TerishD
Number of posts : 1441 Age : 64 Location : Ringgold, Louisiana Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-21
| Subject: Reply September 6th 2008, 7:51 am | |
| I actually like this one. It held a consistent style. It held a consistent theme. It made its statement, then ended (unlike Snackers, I don't think it is short, but just right).
Enjoyed it Kellycakes. Thank you. | |
|
Kellycakes
Number of posts : 1136 Age : 47 Location : State of Thankfulness! Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-17
| Subject: Re: I'm Out September 10th 2008, 2:14 am | |
| Well thank you both very much for responding. I wrote this during a very dark time in my life and was surprised by its outcome being that most of what I wrote was trashed. | |
|