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Is the phrase "Once upon a time..."
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Monthly Writing Prompt
For this month's writing prompt write a scene using the following sentence to start;

The streets were deserted. Where was everyone? Where had they all gone?

Writing Tip
Our monthly writing tips are written by our very own TerishD. You can read more in Terish's Blog located in "The Abstractions" area of the forum.

Look Back

When not able to write ahead, it helps to look back. In my case I had written a paragraph ahead of the story. What I needed to do was add a section of exposition (talking) presenting some facts. In going back, I realized that I could insert a section where a 'tour' of the surroundings could be done. This allowed for character interaction, story development, and other things that enabled me to present the facts in an entertaining manner.

One should not face a writer's block with the mentality of bursting through it. I have found in my own experience that a writer's block is usually due to my mind indicating that it has a problem in 'channeling' the story. One reason might be a re-imagining of certain story points. Another reason however is that there is a problem in where you are at in the story, so you need to look back and find out the problem with the 'journey' that prevents the tale from advancing.

Latest topics
» Abduction to Elfland: Part 4 (19)
How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeAugust 14th 2020, 6:22 am by TerishD

» Abduction to Elfland: Part 3 (13-18)
How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeAugust 9th 2020, 6:41 am by TerishD

» Abduction to Elfland: Part 2 (7-12)
How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeJuly 10th 2020, 6:30 am by TerishD

» Abduction to Elfland: Part 1 (1-6)
How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeJune 10th 2020, 6:33 am by TerishD

» To Know Sweet and Sour - Part Seven (35 - Epi)
How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeMay 11th 2020, 6:38 am by TerishD

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 How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)

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TerishD

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TerishD


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PostSubject: How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeJuly 2nd 2012, 3:34 pm

A Fight for Recognition
Story Eleven: Part One
How to Use Power

Annette found herself very pleased that Donald kissed her upon stepping through the door. She did not doubt that he loved her, but also that he did work hard to make a life for himself and her. After the act of affection, she thus quickly let him know that she had cleaned the apartment and that supper was almost done.

“Do you need any medicine?”

She knew the gaze in his face as he asked, “Medicine?”

Annette quickly kissed him again before saying, “I did someone a favor, and got enough money to refill your prescription.”

Donald had gone back to work even with his shoulder badly wounded. Having it hurt due to a night of cards would not sit well with his employer. She had bought the first bottle of pills with the money she acquired from the gamblers, but not much had been left over after paying the doctor. Annette however did enjoy spending the remaining funds on doing things for her husband. It hurt to have him demonstrate his own pleasure with his wife by hiding his wounded shoulder while returning to the grueling days of an honest profession.

He sat in a chair, then accepting the pills and a glass of water, he asked, “You did not buy more pills for yourself?”

“No, Donald. Please, let us have children.”

“We cannot afford children, Annette. We can barely afford ourselves.” He only glanced at the pills before putting them in his mouth, but it was enough to cause him concern. “What are these? These aren’t my pills.”

“They’re better.”

“Better? Annette, these will make me feeling good. I cannot take them.” He then looked at her suspiciously as he said, “How did you afford them?”

“I didn’t do anything wrong. I promise. Just take them… take one. Surely you can take one?”

“Annette, you don’t mess with the people that supply these things. Tell me that you did not promise anything to these people.”

“No, Donald, my only promises are to you. I love you. I want you happy. I want you to have children. Please, take them. I don’t want you hurting.”

She found herself wondering what was going on inside her husband’s mind. His eyes moved between her and the pills with the same expression of not trusting either. Annette knew that her husband trusted her – knew deep down in her heart that he trusted her – so wondered what about the gifts that she offered he found troubling.

All she could conclude was, “Will they show in a pee test?”

“Well, yes, but I took the prescription to my boss. Any positive result thus should be explained away.”

Annette was so thrilled to hear a straight answer, so chanced asking what she considered a deeper and more troubling revelation. “So, what is your problem?”

“Annette, if I am to go straight, I need you walking with me. I cannot have you bringing me things like this.”

“DON’T YOU WORRY ABOUT ME!” She could not help but begin crying. “Donald, I love you. I will do anything for you. I will do everything I can to make your time with me pleasant. I will do everything to make our lives for our children pleasant. You go out and do what you do. You work at your job. You pull your long hours. You do what you are supposed to do, and I will do what I am supposed to do. That way, when we do have time together, it will be good time. No worries, no troubles, just you and me and our family. Don’t you worry. Take the pills. Let the pain go away, and let us have some good time together.”

He stood up and went to the kitchen. When she followed, he turned to her to take the bottle out of her hand. Annette simply cried seeing him open it as if to put the medication back. She however wiped her face wanting to display joy to see him only return one pill, then cut the other in half. Realizing that her face showed stress, she turned to other things in the kitchen that would present a positive statement.

“Supper should not be long at all.”

Donald moved to sit at the small table. Annette turned determined to buy a larger one for the number of people she hoped to one day have to cook for. She however saw that the tiny square surface, which was only not a card table because of how it was constructed, was really all that would fit in the limited space of what they considered a dining room. Annette looked at the scene with a feeling to cry again, so to change her emotions she rushed to hug her husband’s neck.

“I want us to be happy. If we cannot be rich, we can be happy.”

“We cannot be happy in jail, Annette. Don’t do anything that would send you to jail.”

“The same with you, Donald. You stay on the straight and narrow. I promise that everything I do will be to make you happy that walk the road with me.”

The rest of the evening went fabulous for the lady. She saw the face of her husband brighten as the pain he was feeling faded. Annette had to concern herself with his shoulder, as he displayed no reaction to working it. The sex was wonderful, but when he passed out she did things to help soothe the feelings that would return once the medication faded. With everything in order and taken care of, the lady lied down with her husband feeling that their life together would stay fabulous.

He refused taking a pill the next morning. Donald actually claimed that the exercise was good for his shoulder, and hinted that he would expect a repeat of last night’s activities. Annette was more than willing, but worried that he was just trying to make her feel good before he left for work. She thus had him take some aspirin after stressing all the additional benefits of the pills than just pain relief.

While cleaning the house she considered what she could do to help her meager family. The man selling the drugs was an easy target, but Annette actually considered him doing a number of people a service. He did not go about getting kids addicted, and really did not like selling to those addicted. He made enough money for himself selling to those just wanting some recreation. Annette could only agree with him that a high used brain cells while the television did not, so was a better use of time. She thus considered others that she could target without causing more harm than good.

She really wanted to rob a bank. They had more than enough money, and they had insurance. Thus, any theft of their wealth would be replaced without anyone being truly hurt. Annette however could not help but understand that there were more people and physical barriers preventing her from robbing a bank than the local drug dealer had to protect his illegal stash.

Feeling a need to expand her list of possible targets, she decided to go shopping. Her husband did hold a steady job. She thus did have some money to spend. Annette knew that most of Donald’s paycheck did disappear as bills were paid, but there was some left over for them to buy necessities and maybe an occasional treat. She thus dressed up for being seen in public hoping that her ability to make purchases would conceal her true intention of making a theft.

Annette found herself unable to perform any real mischief. As she went from store to store, she realized that she knew nothing about how they handled their money. While looking to certain doors considering to move as a specter in order to make inspections, she accepted the same problem that she had with the banks of being unable to get the money to where she could take it with her. While it would have been a simple matter to cause a cashier to collect the bills in her register and set them out where they could be grabbed, cameras would catch the activity. Not wanting to go to jail herself, or make things hard on another hard working member of her community, Annette moved about without using the powers she had.

She had noticed the elderly Asian man during the day. It honestly did not seem that he was following her, but only shopping along the same path. Annette however became suspicious when he rushed to a man in a police uniform that entered the store.

Moving to a large front window, she saw a man near the bank door turn to lock it as the policeman crossed the street. Suddenly all types of thoughts came to her mind of how she could possess one of the fleeing criminals in order to get him to throw some money in a place where she could later pick it up. Annette had to fight back a strong desire to rush to the bank window and look inside to get particulars about who she would be going up against.

Hoping not to draw attention to herself, she instead left the store to begin walking down the block. The idea was to get a good understanding of the surroundings in order to pick a good spot for hiding any money obtained. Attempting to appear as casual as possible, Annette started walking around the bank checking out the alleys and other means of moving between the buildings.

The arrival of a number of police cars caused her to accept that she might not be able to profit from the situation. She thus moved to a place where only the Asian man stood by the wall of a building. Hoping to at least have something to speak to her husband about, Annette hoped that she would see something of value to tell him.

Considering that she had been noticing the Asian man through her day, she expected him to speak to her. If he had moved away, Annette even would allow that he had been following her for some reason. He however simply nodded upon her approach, so accepted him as just being another person who momentarily followed a path similar to hers.

The sound of gunfire put her attention back toward the bank. She really could not see the front of the building, but her view did provide for good observation of a number of police. While they did put their weapons into position, no barrage of bullets sounded. Annette remembered a previous eruption of gunfire however, and wondered if she needed to use her powers at this time as well.


Last edited by TerishD on July 7th 2012, 4:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Snacker

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PostSubject: Re: How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeJuly 2nd 2012, 6:16 pm

It's very well written and I like where the story is going so far and am curious of what power it exactly is that Annette has.

However, I've noticed that instead of 'can't or 'I'm' you use 'cannot' and 'I am'. I'm wondering whether or not you did that on purpose or are perhaps just looking for a bigger word count? Just curious...
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PostSubject: Reply   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeJuly 2nd 2012, 7:27 pm

Snacker wrote:
It's very well written and I like where the story is going so far and am curious of what power it exactly is that Annette has.

However, I've noticed that instead of 'can't or 'I'm' you use 'cannot' and 'I am'. I'm wondering whether or not you did that on purpose or are perhaps just looking for a bigger word count? Just curious...
Word count? No. My own writing rule is not to use contractions in the prose, but quotes should be as the people speak. I guess that I just do not hear them using those contractions. I really do not want Annette or Donald to be considered stupid. They are two people who have made some mistakes, but they are not really ignorant poor people. I thus probably (sub-consciously) have them speak more completely to clue the readers in that these two do not belong in the lower class.

Thank you for the comment. You will find out her power in the second part (although it is there as well in Annette's first appearance).
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Snacker

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PostSubject: Re: How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeJuly 2nd 2012, 7:33 pm

TerishD wrote:
Word count? No. My own writing rule is not to use contractions in the prose, but quotes should be as the people speak. I guess that I just do not hear them using those contractions. I really do not want Annette or Donald to be considered stupid. They are two people who have made some mistakes, but they are not really ignorant poor people. I thus probably (sub-consciously) have them speak more completely to clue the readers in that these two do not belong in the lower class.

Thank you for the comment. You will find out her power in the second part (although it is there as well in Annette's first appearance).

I absolutely didn't get the feeling that they in fact were stupid or poor people. I definitely got that they had made some bad choices in life and it seems to be now biting them back in the ass.

But, whether they are in the lower class or not, I don't think that everybody except the lower class speak more completely. Maybe now and then, but probably not all the time.
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PostSubject: Re: How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeJuly 2nd 2012, 8:08 pm

Snacker wrote:
But, whether they are in the lower class or not, I don't think that everybody except the lower class speak more completely. Maybe now and then, but probably not all the time.
Now, now, Snacker. Of course. Everybody is different. The point in writing is to be consistent. If I start with them speaking the words distinctly, that is how they continue. Not that I really bother, as I write quotes as I hear them being said. I hear them speak out their words, I believe because I see them as being very careful about their lives.

Snacker wrote:
I absolutely didn't get the feeling that they in fact were stupid or poor people. I definitely got that they had made some bad choices in life and it seems to be now biting them back in the ass.
Thank you, that was what I was going for. Yeah me!

Oh, and thank you again for the comment.
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PostSubject: Part Two   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeJuly 7th 2012, 4:19 pm

A Fight for Recognition
Story Eleven: Part Two
How to Use Power

Remembering that her own husband had been hurt by gunfire, a fear of other innocent victims came over her. She stared at the number of armed policemen and found herself worried about those in the bank other than the ones attempting to rob it. Annette felt a spot of warmth between her breasts where the locket from her mother rested. Fear of using her power in the open caused her to look to the Asian man standing nearby.

“I am not here to provide advice, but to gain advice for myself.” The words of the man caused her to fully turn to him. “I often wish for knowledge of the future as well.”

Annette had to reply, “You don’t know me.”

“I know your past. I am the Wisdom of the Ages, but knowledge of the past is often no help in determining the future. I thus often have to watch.”

While the words sounded very strange, Annette found herself believing them. It really was not that he was Asian. She had just already assumed some confrontation with the man, because she had noticed him moving along her own path. To find that he was not a cop or government official checking on things from her past, or some mafia or gang member checking on things they had come to suspect about her, brought her relief. She thus spoke to the man accepting his words.

“Yes, well tell me – I want to have children.”

That was Annette’s real concern. She worried that using her power would disturb any future child. The face of the Asian man registered shock as if he had not even considered that question. She then saw his features tense almost as if he was suffering agony. Before she could ask him about his condition, his features softened and he spoke.

“The power will not work should you have another soul within you.” He then smiled before adding, “Thank you. It helps being sure that I am working with good people. Keep the love in your relationship, Annette. Your husband needs it. You need it, and the world is just a better place if you keep your heart pure.”

Again her hand went to her locket, but before setting her mind to a certain thought she considered saying one more thing. “I really only wanted money.”

“You’re not alone. The others do as well. Just as you, however, they stopped to think their plans through.”

Wondering if there were other ghostly people, she asked, “Others?”

“Yes, the other superheroes.”

“I am not a superhero.”

“Will you deny that you plan on being a hero using powers other people do not possess?”

Again her thoughts turned to simply wanting to figure out how to gain some of the money in the bank for herself. Annette however again looked to the mass of police and found herself worrying about the normal people inside the building. Accepting that she could use her power for good, she turned back to answer the Asian man.

“I hope to do something to help the people.”

“And I hope that you succeed.”

She looked around, then made a decision she hoped that she would not regret. “Would you hold my purse?”

While taking off some items of simple jewelry, Annette asked the man if he had ever been married. He spoke of a lady that had once gained his heart, then had it torn asunder when she left him for another. The words were enough to convince Annette that he could be trusted with the belongings of a woman. She did however ask him where he lived before handing him the jewelry.

It took some concentration for Annette to lose her physical body. She accepted out of body experiences, but did not know of any medium that actually took their physical form with them into the spiritual realm. She however looked around feeling that she was not actually in any strange realm. The world looked the same. No crowd of strange spectral forms could be seen. Only not being able to easily see her physical body was the only difference in her present state and how she was before.

Another change was that she did not actually walk to places. She did not move her feet in crossing to the bank. The command to move felt the same, but her body simply floated in a direction instead of feeling herself walk in the normal manner.

Annette had used her power enough that she no longer felt it strange to pass through physical barriers. She however found herself much more curious about what would be found on the other side of objects than the physical makeup of what she was passing through. Without any concern for the wall of the bank building or how it was constructed, she floated through wondering about things with the people inside.

She found herself actually entering through the safe. The room was dark, so Annette did not realize that she had passed through the safe until coming out to realize that there was a great steel door behind her. What surprised her however was that those with guns were not near the storage of the majority of money, and only the drawers at the teller stations were open and empty. The men themselves were now far from any of the money in the bank, but had moved to the center of the building as they discussed their options.

Hearing them speak of what to do with the money caused Annette to move closer. That had been her problem as well. She could not simply take it with her. Besides the clothes directly upon her body, everything stayed in the physical realm. Earrings and rings would go with her, but not multiple. She could not wear a necklace, because the amulet she felt powered her transformation would state its priority. Only one ring per finger. Annette thus found herself curious about what options for removing the wealth the men would consider.

Seeing someone on the floor move, another shot was fired. The men went around again yelling at the people that there was no intent to harm them. People shivered on the floor as they held back their hopes of freedom while praying that those terrorizing them would move on.

Annette still had not made any decision when one of the criminals asked, “Hey, do you guys see what I see?”

He was looking right at her. Instead of being shocked by the situation, Annette used it as a need to act. Without any pause to consider other options, she rushed toward the one that seemed to have noticed her spectral form.

She did not understand how she took over a person. The first time she had not even intended to possess the police officer, but only wanted his attention. If she made contact, some force almost pulled her into the body. Simply by rushing to the criminal, Annette found herself able to use his body as her own.

Feeling a tap on the shoulder, she stiffened while listening to a man ask, “Caffeine, what did you see?”

Wondering what type of name ‘Caffeine’ was, Annette tried to sound calm. “Nothing. Just some odd flickering of light.”

It was not like television where someone that switched bodies still had their original voice. When she spoke, it was the vocal chords of the person she possessed that worked. Not hearing her own voice did bother her the first few times, but she kept a calm expression as it happened in this instance.

A voice other than the one that had asked the question said, “We are in trouble. We are in so much trouble.” The one that spoke now turned to another while declaring, “I told you to keep it simple, but you had to attempt this ‘master plan.’”

“Listen, Asshole, you have to risk big to make the big score.”

The calmness with which this man spoke caused Annette to feel that he was truly evil. She looked around understanding the desperateness of their situation. This was always what she feared for her husband. He would take risks, and her fear was that it would end up with him going to jail. She had only ruined her life enjoying the sensations that recreational drugs could provide, but Donald would get wild ideas and try to bring them into reality. While Annette agreed with him that she wanted more wealth, the risk involved was always more than she was willing to sacrifice or have her husband lose. She thus looked to the one that spoke to calmly suggest the only option for these men she felt was practical.

“We are going to have to give ourselves up.”

“WHAT?” one of the more expressive individuals exclaimed. “We will not be charged with some petty crime.”

“But we have not killed anyone. Let us call this before it gets to the level where the police are putting us under the jail.”

The one with the calm demeanor said, “Caffeine, you take one step toward the door and I will shoot you.”

Annette hoped that she had the body return a cold expression as she had the voice reply, “Better that you kill me than any of these innocent people.”

Another man began moving to the door while saying, “I agree with him. We cannot win, and every minute that we stall just increases the charges against us.”

While threats were made, no shots were fired. Annette concentrated to resist the force holding her in the form, and fled the body as she felt handcuffs secure the wrists. As she moved back to the man that held her purse, she had to smile seeing the regular people safely move out the building.

Appearing next to the Asian man, Annette asked him, “Is it always that way? Do you always have to risk life and liberty to get those things you feel that you should be able to get?”

He shrugged, but gave a more substantial reply than a fortune cookie would give. “I always got what I wanted by putting out extra effort and doing more work.”

“Donald already puts in over twelve hours a day. He comes home so tired. I don’t believe that he could do more work.”

“Yet he will spend time in some bar or gambling den.”

That response bothered Annette because it was true, although she looked at the Asian man wondering about how he knew. “You can see that in my past?”

“Yes.”

She thought to speak more with her husband about how he used his free time, but thought back to her own activities. “I would like to find ways of making money myself.”

“Right now none of the superheroes are making money. One has gained a source of wealth, but it is not a steady stream of income. I use my ability to sift through history to find lost treasures to support myself, so right now I am the most financially successful.” He looked at her, then asked, “Are you in need of money?”

Annette started shaking her head, as what Donald brought home was enough for the two of them to survive. She however stopped her movement thinking back to what occurred in the bank. Since the Asian man claimed to be a superhero as well, she felt that he could help in that regard.

“Yes. I can be seen, but it would not help to be recognized. I need a costume.” She looked at her figure, then added, “And it might help if I spent time in a gym.”

He pulled out a wallet as he said, “I will give you two hundred dollars. If I detect that you spent it well, I could be willing to trust you with more.”

Annette thanked the man while wondering what her husband would think seeing some colorful outfit in their closet and her working to obtain a nice figure. With a smile on her face, she accepted the money. The Asian man smiled as well, and they parted with Annette wondering exactly what she would tell her husband about her day.
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PostSubject: Re: How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeAugust 1st 2012, 9:55 pm

I am super excited to see how this particular part of the story progresses.
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PostSubject: Reply   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeAugust 1st 2012, 10:20 pm

Kellycakes wrote:
I am super excited to see how this particular part of the story progresses.
I am as well. Annette is hard to write, but there is something about her that I like. Thank you for your support. I do appreciate it. Oh, and you can definitely let me know if you don't like something. Might give us something to talk about.
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PostSubject: Re: How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeAugust 2nd 2012, 12:02 am

Very well written. I like the arc of it. Thanks for sharing!
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Kellycakes

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Kellycakes


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PostSubject: Re: How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeAugust 2nd 2012, 3:45 am

I'm actually have nothing that I don't like about this one. Annette is a lot like me, she wants a family, then again her honey is like me in a way that I don't think having a family at this stage is practical. Her power needs and probably will develop more once you continue on their story. The scene was simple and sweet and very human. As I've said before most superhero stories tend to be set in the unnatural and leave out the fact that superheroes can be human too? I'm not sure that makes sense, but it did in my head. Ha!

Write on love!
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Kellycakes

How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) ScribblesQueen-1
Kellycakes


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PostSubject: Re: How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts)   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeAugust 2nd 2012, 3:48 am

Hi Jillianlove, wanted to welcome you to Scribbles. WELCOME!! So glad to have someone new to hear from!! Hope you stay a while. Show and tell, we will love to get to know you.
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TerishD

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PostSubject: Reply   How to Use Power (Both of Two Parts) Icon_minitimeAugust 2nd 2012, 7:25 am

jillianlove wrote:
Very well written. I like the arc of it. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for bothering to say something -- much less something kind. I was told when I began writing to the internet that the only replies I would get would be complaints. It is so nice to be shown such was wrong.
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