Antipodi
Number of posts : 4 Age : 73 Location : DownUnder Registration date : 2008-08-10
| Subject: BoarderLines August 16th 2008, 11:06 am | |
| BoarderLines
CRRRRRRRACK BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBANG Old lady covered in blood lying dazed on the side of the road Is that Grandma BBBBBBOOOOOM Rockets firing in to homes landing on kitchen tables Food scattered all over floor SSSSSCCCCRUUUSSSH Somewhere a baby is screaming...Mumma Flesh hangs everywhere in nursery room ZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAPPPP Tanks crush family cars in peacekeeping frenzy People running confused, escaping, leaving home FZZZZZZTTTTPPP Generals plan next target to protect citizens Freedom fighters become snipers and looters to survive
War has crossed the borderlines of sanity and decency The dogs now bay for the fresh blood of innocents | |
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HYdraMStar
Number of posts : 1170 Age : 45 Location : Charlotte, NC Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-20
| Subject: Re: BoarderLines August 16th 2008, 1:03 pm | |
| Interesting play with sounds and words, deep meaning and fun. Can't say I entirely agree with the message behind it, but I can't find any fault with the poem itself. | |
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Kellycakes
Number of posts : 1136 Age : 47 Location : State of Thankfulness! Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-17
| Subject: Re: BoarderLines August 19th 2008, 7:34 am | |
| I've never quite seen this style, its interesting to say the least.
You've said a lot with just a few words. I'm quite split on the decision to include sound effects in writing. Great job never the less. | |
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| Subject: Re: BoarderLines | |
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