AliceInWonderland
Number of posts : 44 Location : Germany Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-18
| Subject: As she walked away August 11th 2008, 1:26 pm | |
| As she walked away She felt a loose A heart breaking "It was not mine" she said
As she walked away She felt something wet Running down her cheeks "It's just the rain" she stated
Before she walked away She instructed herself not to feel a thing To remember all the torture That she would leave behind (she thought)
As she walked away She felt something coming with her It was her past, hidden in her backpack Constantly whispering
As she was gone A mother cried Cause of all of her mistakes Knowing her daughter would never come back | |
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TerishD
Number of posts : 1441 Age : 64 Location : Ringgold, Louisiana Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-21
| Subject: Reply August 11th 2008, 5:35 pm | |
| The meter was not consistent, but the theme was. Being more of a story person, I felt the connection in the presentation to have more weight than the poetry. It did a good job of setting the moment. I thus enjoyed it. | |
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