Phalen Schuyler
Number of posts : 27 Age : 33 Location : Clarksville, MD Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-18
| Subject: Looking On (The Regret Song) August 20th 2008, 9:42 pm | |
| Kid, you're being a little overrated Self-consciousness is chewing at your soul Part of me hates it Seeing you, kid, go through all of this Your feet are dragging in the mud The vile substance goes everywhere that you go A dagger pierces my heart everytime you let the emotion show
Chorus: And now I want to hold you high and steal your pain I want to sweep all of that bitterness away Hide it under the rug Until it creeps back out again
Kid, you think that you're keeping everything sealed up inside But the truth is that you just can't hide The way you feel And well I Felt the sting everytime you cried And well I I've always been a bystander Just looking on Had to feel like I belonged
Chorus: And now I want to hold you high and steal your pain I want to sweep all of that bitterness away Hide it under the rug Until it creeps back out again
And now I Regret it And you just won't let me forget it And well I I'm the one who hurt the most everytime you cried Caught in the downside And well I I'm sorry for all of the times I lied And, kid, I don't know what to say Drowning in my mistakes And well I I've always been a bystander Just looking on Had to feel like I belonged
Chorus: And now I want to hold you high and steal your pain I want to sweep all of that bitterness away Hide it under the rug Until it creeps back out again
And well I You know, you're not the only one who hurt everytime you cried And well I I've always been a bystander Just looking on And kid I I also felt the sting everytime you cried... | |
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Chrome
Number of posts : 63 Age : 31 Location : Lahore, PK Registration date : 2008-08-26
| Subject: Re: Looking On (The Regret Song) August 30th 2008, 5:11 pm | |
| It was a nice song all in all, but it didn't appeal me that you repeated a lot of it. Also, the flow you picked (how I take it) doesn't really match the mood of the song. Lemme know the speed and I might comment better. | |
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Kellycakes
Number of posts : 1136 Age : 46 Location : State of Thankfulness! Current Mood : Registration date : 2008-07-17
| Subject: Re: Looking On (The Regret Song) August 30th 2008, 8:48 pm | |
| In my opinion, and believe me I have no 'authority' to critique songwriting skills, it didn't seem like a song at all. It seem more like a list of emotions felt by the writer about a particular kid. It doesn't lack emotion that is for sure, and its a little off whereas the first verse and the second verse are unbalanced. | |
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Poet
Number of posts : 30 Registration date : 2008-08-18
| Subject: Re: Looking On (The Regret Song) September 3rd 2008, 1:09 pm | |
| I'm wouldn't say its unbalanced because songwriters usually have a tune in their heads. If these are just lyrics, they won't stand alone. If there is a tune to go along with it, then the song actually has a chance and we'll have to hear it with music in order to get the full point of view of the writer. Looks like you put a lot of work into this one though, I'll give you that. | |
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| Subject: Re: Looking On (The Regret Song) | |
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